gone for a few days

i'll try to post
i'll try. more of the same though

woe is me
woe is i

frak

hic extraneus sum

tu t'en vas

de bonnes nouvelles pour toi/
une désastre pour moi/
déjà suis-je fou de toi/
quoique tu ne le saches pas/
j'espère que si, tu le sais/

comment te dire tu me manqueras/
que tu me manques déjà/

pourtant je crains/
qu'il existe un autre coeur/
un autre corps/
qui t'attend/

comment te dire/
que je suis amoureux/

hic extraneus sum/

a stranger

looks at me
into me
and i'm locked
in their eyes

a stranger

holds my heart
my mind
and i reach out
for theirs

a stranger

knows my name
and beckons i come
but then turns away
and leaves

a stranger

calls me and asks
how i am i go i've been
i smile in habit
but remember that they're

a stranger

whom i know
i worry i love
hand in hand
a well-known stranger

you are a stranger here

à frente

no outro dia me pediu de fazer um trabalho linguístico.
tinha dúvidas, mas agora penso que sim posso.

é um sentimento grande quando percebemos que podemos fazer alguma coisa.

embora à primeira vista parece algo assustador e avassalador,
eu percebi que estou mais apto do que eu pensava


sei que não sou perfeito,
mas também sei que nunca vou ser.

e aceito

still wundring

if you're just biding your time
and whether you'll realise
that i'm the catch

hic extraneus sum

happy birthday monk

i've never called him that, but that's what his husband calls him.
bonne aniversaire!

slept through my afore-planned workout this morning.
meh, i prefer sleep

did the class thing. o canada'ed for hours.
seriously.
it'll come in handy in the tocome

decided to do the gym.
love seeing the pipes (moreso of th'other guys, but mine are coming along)
and the sauna is great.
that isn't supposed to suggest i enjoy the sauna in inappropriate ways. rather i like the steam and relaxation. no comments on bad sauna things. it ain't that kinda party.
and then walked a lot

thought the birthday party started at 6pm. crazy. i got home at 6:30. damn
called. nope, 9pm.
phew
frak. 3 hours to do what?
loves the interwebness

... (at the party)...

good party.
happy birthday

till tomorrow


hic extraneus sum

you took your shirt off

damn.



hicextraneussum

denkst du einmal an mir?

gehe ich durch die straßen
und denke an dir.
dein gesicht fällt mir.

ich lächle.

ich frage mich, ob du an mir denkst

einmal denkst

...wie ich an dir

lächlst du?

des réponses et des questions

j'ai passé une super journée aujourd'hui,
quoiqu'il y eut qqs hoquets ici et là.

je viens d'écrire tout un résumé de ma journée, mais voyons, je pense que vous ne voulez point savoir ce que je fais en tout moment, hein?

je suis sorti avec une amie ce soir. elle ma fait rire, sourire et réfléchir.
que ferai-je en qq mois? d'ici là je vais prendre un pas vers l'avenir.
je ne veux pas décevoir personne (famille.amis.autre)
mais si l'on me présente avec une opportunité wowtastique

que ferai-je?

j'aime bien quand je ris autant que j'ai ri ce soir.
ça me fait du bien
merci
pour les réponses à mes questions
et pour les questions à mes pensées

hic extraneus sum plus que jamais

quick tuesday recap

slept in. forgot i had made plans
made the plans just a little late. phew
dilemma about languagestuff. do i? do i not? tbc

rushed up to meet the sister.
met the sister. had pho.
mmmmmm pho.
sister came over. we hung out.
talked about future living possibilities

remembered i had homework.
worked on that.

forgot to blog.
blogged [read blogging]

went to bed.

hic extraneus sum.

things go hazy...

tjaad sent me this video. amazing.

i'm in lo.ve
with a son.g
w.ith you

i wa.tched you sl.eep in
quiet.ly in my b.ed
you d.on't kno.w this now
but the.res some things th.at
need to be s.aid
it's all t.hat i can hea.r
it's mo.re tha.n i can bare

w.hat if i fall an.d hurt mysel.f
would y.ou know h.ow to fi.x me
what if i w.ent and los.t myself
wou.ld you kn.ow where to f.ind me
if i f.orgot who i a.m
wou.ld you ple.a.se rem.ind me

oh cause with.out you thing.s go ha.zy

i want this song to be about himyou
but i'm terrified to say it aloud.
terrified you don't love me
that without thing will go hazy
and i'll be in the haze alone

i am a stanger here. a hazy stanger

naked jockstrap

if that didn't get your attention, you clearly don't read my blog.

today was a great day.
up with the sun and went to service with the roommies. didn't work, but i enjoyed it.
then i raced over to the theatre to meet some friends to see avatar and had popcorn

i liked it overall. some things were a bit off for me, either overdone, too cliché/cheesy, or lacking in some way. but others were simply amazing. the scenes were in fact breath-taking. the 3D technology did make good on media-presented promises. and ofc i loved the language and culture of the 'native population'. the story, i felt, had layers: one that showcased how we humans are horrible beings (feelings the same after watching district 9, though those were much more powerful); another that retold the story of pocahontas, ferngully, and the like; another layer was an interesting love story; an anthropological presentation; an overall good time.

after the movie i went walking, as i do. a good walk. along said walk i txted a few friends to find someone to walk with me - i wasn't ready to go home. it was only 4pm. ultimately i went for phở with the-guy-from-previous-posts-who-is/was...yup-him and chatted. good to see him again. noticed my hair cut (i got a hair cut, fyi). mmmmmmmmm :) i like to think of things that may/not come to be. whatevs.

then i walked some more and came home. now typing. done
sunday.
sundone.

hic extraneus sum

almost missed it

almost missed a saturday post, phew! i don't have too much to write, but i wanted to keep up with the one post per day.

had class this morning. saturday morning. i fear i've lost friday nights this semester. it'll be interesting though. the course is on discourse of sign language, in which we focus on frozen texts (things that we say/sign all the time - like prayers, speeches, anthems, usw.). the instructor is well versed in the subject matter, so i'm looking forward to it.

did the gym again today - full workout. grrr i'm buff (remember how i'm buff. yup, grrr) then met up with some friends in from outoftown and others from town. good times catching up and chatting.

other bonus: the friends in town have an amazings place - i've found where i want to live. and not just live for a while, but where i want to live. i'm almost a trigenarian and want to settle into the place that i'll call home. wow though. this place was nice, okay rent for when i'm working and earning a good living, in a great neighbourhood, close to the metro, and just so nice. i want to move in.

other than that, that's my post.


i'm strange and extraneus hic

...wat om te doen?

vandag het iemands my gevra op 'n date. ek weet dat dit is nie die grootste nuus, mar ek is nie seker nie wat om te doen/sê te hom...

en, in my wêreld neks is so maklik. hierdie persoon is 'n vriend van my draak (sien vorige blogpost). ja...

okay, laat my verduidelik 'n paar dinge. voor ek het draak ontmoet, hierdie nuwe mens en ek het e-geskryf en gefacebookgesels. so regtig het ek hom geken langer as draak...

mar, ek weet nie wat ek wil van die liefde deel von my lewe... woah.

liedfe - groot woord. blaah
ja, my unliefde lewe


ek weet nie...

hic extraneus sum

dinosaur

that's the shirt you were wearing on our second date. i loved the dinosaur. when i first saw the small thumbnail of the picture, i wondered whether it was that same shirt. now that i've seen the picture full size, i know i was right.

and you were just too cute for words/are too cute for words

(this entry will have to do though...)

i wonder if you remember these little things, the shirt i wore on our various dates

i wonder if you think it weird that i can remember each shirt you wore each time

i wonder if you think of me

it's a blog entry. sure.

it's where i keep my thoughts.

i write things. people [sometimes] read them.

i don't think you do.

all the same.

it's a great shirt.

now take it off.

hic extraneus sum

thunderclap

thursday.
thor's day.
thor god of thunder.
clap

class cancelled today. still got up though, phew. good for the body.
likewise, buffed again today. busy wow. couldn't even find my weights to get buff.
at first.
then i did.
clap.

grrr.
i'm all ripped and stuff.
clap.

did some hmwerk - aparently i'll have a website or something. how exciting for me [read for you all!] with jazzy flashy stuff. i'm pumped [read terrified to have my likeness on the interweb for all to see].
clap.

met up with snooz.
too long sans seeing her.
walked. she's good for me. i miss her.
did greek town.
mmm.
loukoumades. yum.
clap.

got home. did the home thing.
went out again. man i'm all walkbuff legs amaz.
step. clap.

now i should be abed.
clap.

shhhh.
clap.

a weak entry, yes. but still one all the same.
allthesame.
clap.

still can't take my mind off of you.

hic extraneus sum

and so it is....

i love this song....

and so it is, i've taken the first of my last steps of this my academic career as i know it... a good day all around. an early start, but i like these in a way. makes me feel alive to be up and at 'em. that and i like making breakfast for eskje :)

a good day of class. it's somewhat hard to believe that i will rather soon be a real [read trained] interpreter. this somewhat new life goal is becoming real. i'm happy in class::i'm happy with friends::i'm happy with language

and i'm happy at home. i walked a lot today and it was good. i love the air on my face. i feel free,
fresh,
feeling,
foolish,
frolicsome.

after getting in, eskje and i spoke - i had asked what she wanted for dinner (see the italics here-above and replace breakfast with dinner). she suggested taking me out yaaaay. back downtown i went and we had a great time orrechiette and farfaffle. mmm.

then! the tso - mozart. wuuunderbar..........

now i'm home again. i write. i wonder. i wend. i want...

i can't take my eyes off of you
you know who you are .... unreading, but you know

hic extraneus sum

honeymoon's over...

just under a month of nothingness...

...intertwined with family visits, friends and waaaay too much food, the recent holiday season and time between semesters is finally coming to an end tonight. tomorrow it's back to the books (or carrell as it were) and to my werld of learning how to convey message equivalence.

...

in other news, i did the buff thing again today. i've started a new regime/routine, designed by theonethatgotaway. that didn't make for the most comfortable session on sunday, but all in all it went well. today went even weller. i can totally press or lift or whatever verb like 3 zillion kilos. grrr. oh, and then the sauna was nice and detoxing...and apparently lookatmeandmybits day for the one other guy there. tentilizing, but also wtf! this is not that gym, thanks. made for a story...

after waiting after eskje to get home....three hours late...my chicken cacciatore was delicious. i'm loving this cooking thing. always have::always will.

that's my post. another for the daily thing. we'll see how long it lasts. clearly the readership is following avidly...


hic non statis.

23:23

presque minuit - 24:00... ou bien est-ce 0:00? meh, ça m'est égal. aujourd'hui fut une bonne journée, quoique je ne me sois pas réveillé avant 11:00. quelle honte, je sais... il ne me reste qu'une journée avant que je retourne aux études et dois me réveiller à 6:00...avant l'aube du soleil. ahhh.

de toutes façons j'ai pu faire de quoi aujourd'hui. j'ai rendu visite à qq amis à mon alma mater, et par la suite je suis descendu au centre-ville au collège pour utiliser le labo d'ordi (à vrai dire pour les imprimantes). j'ai réécrit mon cv (pour la énième fois...). j'en ai soumis à qq shop au centre d'achats; je cherche un emploi à temps pertiel pour complémenter mon horaire académique. ce dernier est organisé de manière que j'ai plusieurs jours libres et bien de temps libre pendant la semaine, en plus des fins de semaines.

après une petite promemade le long du mall, j'en suis sorti à l'air frais et la neige. je suis moné le long de la jeune rue jusqu'au village quant tjaad me txte. "mes plans ont changé. veux-tu faire qqch?" alors, je suis descendu de nouveau au centre-ville (bien, plus-centre-ville) et suis remonté le long de la jeune rue. nous sommes arrêtés à un très bon resto pour un très bon souper de flammkeuche mmm.

finalement nous sommes rentrés chez nous. je me suis perdu dans le monde virtuel de facebook, youtube et wikipedia pour environ une heure. finalement je suis sorti de ma chambre quand eskje est rentré. je lui ai parlé un peu de sa journée (elle suit un cours de photographie, flash!)

voilà ma journée. pas trop de drame...
bon, je suis sûr que vous en voulez....donc. oui, j'ai pensé à lui. beaucoup. mais j'ai essayé très fort de ne pas lui txter... sans succès. tant mieux/tant pis/tant tant...

la journée est done. je vais dormir et rêver en souriant et en me souvenant d'antan...

hic extraneus sum

service, sweat, sauna, salsa

service
i took tjaad to tjurtj this am for the first time. he enjoyed himself, as did i. i took a big step today and think it went well. well, it went over the rainbow that's for sure. 'had to be there.

sweat
after that, and a nice chat with friends, i made my way to meet a friend at the gym. i've been getting buff (grrrr) for a while now and feeling good about 3x a week or so. this past week has been tough sans j.o.b. and as such i've found comfort at the gym everyday. okay, so not exactly comfort, but good growing pains and look-i-have-biceps-now-ness. so, back to the story. he's drawn me up a new regime to follow and get bufferer (grrer) and showed me the ropes of the stuff i didn't know.

sauna
i detoxed in the sauna (don't get any ideas, i'm all clean, and now detoxified) and enjoyed my afternoon very zen-like and relaxed. it reminded me that in almost every language, the word for sauna is sauna (from the finnish), except in swedish, where it's bastu. neighbours with different words.

...as if i wouldn't have some fun etymology in this post somewhere

salsa
i got home and wanted to make something tastastic for eskje and her friend. i made fajitas (that's spanish for fajitas). mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm



mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


end of entry.

hic extraneus sum
salsa
ekfes

samedi avec une vengeance

je prévoyais recontrer un ami boutonier au gym pour qu'il pût m'enseigner comment utiliser les poids libres (en musculation). normalement j'utilise les machines. je les préfère aux poids libres pour plusieurs raisons, notament pcq ces derniers m'intimident...

pourtant, il devait le pluiechequer a demain pcq'il avait oublié de soumettre une formulaire de demande ou qqch (il est très intéligent, mais pas trop smat...) de toutes façons je suis allé au gym (je me suis promis/forcé d'y aller cinq jours cette semaine pour la manque de boulot) et j'ai fait une heure de cardio. la bicyclette (vélo...quel mot ça) et l'élipticale. mmm. oh! double mmm - à la télé il jouait le foodnetwork

mes douleurs de muscles ne sont plus là finalement grâce à la machine élipticale. ahhhh relaxé suis-je.

après le gym, je me suis promené, habitude, au centre-ville. j'adore peoplewatcher. une fois chez moi, tjaad y était et nous avions le goût de faire qqch pourtant rien de trop trop. un film! sherlock holmes.

gén.ial.
très bien
tourné
wow

et maintenant je suis de retour chez moi, prêt à ne rien faire.... samedi.

hic extraneus sum

i hurt

this week, all week at the gym. i'm buff. grrr

but this week, all week, at the gym has left me with that oh-so-good feeling pain and tenderness of the muscles getting alls big and buff and grrr.

that and i'm sick. i fear my wunderbar roommates have shared
more than the living space with me;

go go gaget germs (visual aliteration - score!)

i have to leave the apartment today, though. get some air up in me.
that, and air out my thoughts. as in, cartharsis
a lot on my mind these days.

i hurt

in re the sick, the strain, the stress, the strange.
but more than just my body aching and aghing, the insides hurt too
i'm still caught up with thoughts of the one who isn't ready
i've written of happy times
i've written of sad times
i've written of him

and still i think of him
both in the "the one who just left" and "the one i've yet to meet"
i thoughtfelthoped these were one in the same
and i'm grasping to threads of hope that they still are
but in the moment they are not not not not
not not not
not

i hurt

not a pain of tears and sobs and wasting away in bed for days
been there before and it hurts more in the end
but a pain of uncertainty.
will i meet the one, the oneinthesame?
when...

but i write and i catharsize...and make up words
i'm off to stretch, walk, and get buff
grrr

hic extraneus sum

"up in the air"

i'm sure at this point i've already posted with this heading - my life is such a dramedy at this point. but notice the quotation marks. these are in place of italics.

wait for it... twig yet? title. i saw the film up in the air last night with a friend. i'm not usually a fan of george c., but this movie was actually really good.

good storyline
good acting
good airports
good ending

with a pop to keep quenched, and comfy cozzy arms to keep warm (i'm close with friend yaay) i enjoyed the small theatre experience.

then it was a walk, a talk and a coffee afterwards. a somewhat heavy talk actually. eye-opening really. then there was a ginger molases cookie (and a smile, dur)

watching this movie reminded me of things i appreciate in life and made the bad seem not so bad. thumbs up...up in the air.

i'm cool like that

hic estraneus sum

tag der dritten

ich bin vor 10 uhr heute morgen aufgewacht; früher am jeden tag. gut. hier hoffe ich, dass von montag kann ich für klasse aufwachen.

dinge für heute:
-früstücken (etwas protein, erdnussbutter oder so)
-gym (ich glaub' ich kann, ich glaub' ich kann...)
-spaziergang (ich gehen gerne spazieren weil ich kann wirklich atmen
-atmen

spater einen film mit einem guten freund sehen.

ich habe beschlossen, dass diese woche ein echter urlaub ist, und nicht eine panik-induktion. ich möchte mich amüsieren, und so werde ich. aber bedeuten, ein paar creeps zum profiles einen personen bestimmt meint kurzen lächeln, dann lange stirnrunzeln.

aber alles in allem sieht es aus, ein guter tag (von meinem bett wo ich dies schreibe, von denen ich noch nicht verlassen habe.)

hic extraneus sum

go to bed, good grammarian

i've slept in much too much lately.

i've stayed up much to late,
which i fear is the reason for the first statement.

i've lost track of time, you see, by reading through "his genetive" and "afrikaans grammar and "ergative verbs. i'm a polyglot. i'm a polyhistor. i'd say i'm a polymath, but i hate math. i like reading of the antipassive voice, of differences between west and east flemish. i prefer to lose myself in these things of tongues...

..than to face the realm of my dreamscape. i once would force myself back to sleep to walk through dreams where i was happy and flew and knew i was held, loved, preferred like a language or song. now i force article and news and book and page of interested yet useless [at three o'clock in the morning] vowel articulation, of cherimics, of diglossia.

i'm worried now; what will happen if my love of language turns against me because i'm using it to avoide, evade my problems?

i need to sleep.
i must face my dreams
i should not push
i ought to stop and fall in

i have to stop conjugating and finding synonyms.

i say goodnightmorning.




hic extraneus sum