MMXI

as another year ends, i look back on all that happened these past 12 months

the good with the bad...

january

started the year of with a sadface heart, ringing in the new year with some friends, but ended up at a greesy spoon for 2am breakfast with said friends though not enjoying said friends because i was dumped with a visitor for whom i was expected to interpret...the whole night. though a rough start, it led to a good month. the last of my semesters at school, and the first of my many, many good happenings.

february

shift in roommates, sister moved in. feels like old times growing up, but mature and good and laughs and fun and ilovemysister.

lonely valentine's day.

march

off to my last practicum, and loved every minute of it. jokes, gerbals, and an amazing experience where i developed skill, strength, and connections.

also, i met the man i would fall oh-so in love with. my prince.

april

finished my studies, with some tears and cheers. i'm now a real interpreter!

now with no conflicts o' interests of blurring of prof'lines, started seriousness with my prince.

hands waving!

may

was offered and accepted a position out of town, in the town where i grew up.moved away from hogtown, stayed with the rents (left my sister for that while, but c'est la vie).

june

more of the summer sameness, but good all around

my prince came to visit. met the family. everyone loves everyone.

july

a fun trip to rollercoasterland with my prince and bffs.

back to hogtown for pride and great memories.up to the small big-city for a cool conference. more skills, strength, and connections.

good month

august
five months with my prince.

bliss.

september
back to hogtown with experience under my belt. found work to keep me busy, and fun to keep my sane. back-and-forthing to visit the prince is actually enjoyable.
got ready for a crazy adventure...

october
took a week away from it all and went to ireland!
a fellowship of nine doing all the good, bad, and inbetween things.
amazing country, amazing people, amazing memories.

november
completed another tour round the sun.

december
finished up contracts, tests, this that and the other.
did family things (with my own and my prince's)
surprised my family on xmas day and had cheer for the whole week.

rang in the new year with the man i love, the family i love, and with warmth and happiness.

happy new year
mmxi

hic extraneus sum

another time round the sun

i'm older, but i feel pretty much the same.

i'm happy; that's a good thing.

this past weekend was good times.

vryday spent with my prince, then with many good vriends over nom nom and drinks.

saterday out to see santa on his sleigh.

sunday was a lot of sleep.

i love weekends with him

the below entry was sad-ish and all crankypants about results. well new results are in and they're good! happy with that! i'm not hellish.

i have my prince to keep me warm and smiling.

and i him dancing.

let's hope for another sunny day to-morrow.

though we are strangers, let's be strange together.

hic extraneus sum

i want my book. je veux mon livre

hocus pocus should be watched at every holiday, and third tuesday.

winifred, mary, and sarah are a riot.

would love to hang out with those sisters.

awe.some

hic extraneus sum

NOvember

i feel at a loss, unsure of myself
nothing new, i'm sure, to the avid reader of this here blog
if any exists

things were going well, really well.
they still are for the most part
i just don't like the red
the red

c'est la vie
and life goes on

but my YESvember is less than yes
thank gawd for my prince
who keeps me smiling
143

but this is my month
birthday and all that
grrr. the results were a month early and have really crapped all over my day
i'm gonna walk for hours. screw my feet. just walk.

hic extraneus sum

Happy Hallowe'en!

BOO!


The time of Samhain is here, and All-Hallows-Even is but hours away.
Have you tricks and/or treats ready, for the ghosts and goblins, ghouls et alia will be out tonight!


Sca-a-a-a-a-ry! BOO!
Hic extraneus sum

life keeps on going

tick tock

life keeps on going

day in and day out

i have things to do

tock tick

happily these are things i like

that keep me busy

with work

with friends

with my prince

with me

i'm finding my footing in this hogtown where hands wave and word fly--and i'm supposed to know it all (or at least know enough, and to ask when i don't). no lives lost; bonus. i'm becoming more comfortable in my rôle as an interpreter and am enjoying the work i'm doing.

it also verververy much helps having amazing people with whom i work and who support me in my craft.

here's to you

here's to life

here's to ticking and tocking

here's to esse extraneus

o éire

i'm home aft'r a week travelling éire
with great mem'ries spent with my friends there
her natural beauty
her culture and hist'ry
are unique and without compare

dublin
belfast
derry
sligo
galway
cork
kilkenny
midland
dublin

a whirlwhind tour

hic hiberneus sum

j'attends

j'attends après toi.

tu m'as dit que nous passerions la soirée ensemble

avant que je m'en allasse.

voila trois heures déjà.

tu es en retard. et tu le sais.

vais-je t'expliquer ma déception?

devrais-je?

tu en es au courant

j'en suis certain.

je comprends pourquoi

mais ça fait mal quand même

j'attends après toi

hic extraneus sum

maan odh maan

antae is te tae tat myn fredh tjaad is te hadhfast.

eh'm myck sillih foer hem odh hes niewe maan.

GRATJULEERE!

hic extraneus sum

ÉIRE

tá mé ag dul go héirinn i dheich lá, ar feadh deich lá.

i'm going to ireland in ten days, for ten days.

caisleáin

castles

gleannan

glenns

agus uisce beatha

and whiskey

éire go brách!

hic extraneus sum

puzzle piece

i read today that someone i've never met, who probably has forgotten who i am, and i most likely will not actually get to meet, had a change in his life.

this i a short entry, just one to say that if, by any chance or the internet, you happen upon this page, i offer you this jigsaw puzzle piece to add to your collection.

continue with your amazing writings, rex piratarum, and with your musings. add to the lengths of your coterie and you'll see that things are meant to be.

hic extranei sumus

jealous to zombie max

grrr.

the other day i was talking with a friend of mine, and something she told me floored me.

she met my stalkee.

she werks in the comic werld and was at a con this summer where she met an interpreter from england (she's an interpreter like me, which makes this whole entry valid - though a blog need hardly be valid in the internet).

she went on...

...

...

my eyes opened wider and wider as she described him and his rather particular character and résumé. there aren't too many out there like that.

barely breathing, i managed to ask...

you mean this person [name here]?

yes.

you mean this face [picture here]?

yes.

you mean this blog[blog here?]

YES!

frak.

i didn't even know he was this side of the ocean. not the best stalker am i apparently.

though, it be for the best, i'm sure; if ever i meet him i'd rather not have to do so from a 100-meter restraining order required distance.

argh.

and what's worse still, i almost worked that .con with her.

in hindsight, i don't know what i would have done, had i met him too.

i'd put a link to his page, but that'd be too much, methinks. if he read this, i'm sure he'd know it was him about whom i'm writing. then again, maybe a bizarre internet-stalker-whydoirememberthispage pre-introduction could work in my favour.

i'm too chickenshit to try it.

really though, i doubt he (or anyone really) reads this

so whatevs.

another time i'll link to his pages. he's actually a great artist, and quite the writer to boot.

just thinking about it all has gotten me werked up.

things coming together

it's the long weekend: labour day weekend. this yearly celebration marks the beginning of the return to classes for thousands of thousands of thousands of students, teachers, administrators

and interpreters

living once again in hogtown i had my moments of doubt of starting werk. it's always nerve-racking to take those first few steps of starting one's career. coming off an absoamaztastic start in wtown was high enough to keep me going through the last two weeks, but then for a day or two (or five) i was shaken that things might not come together and i'd be hard-pressed to find another way to support myself and my life.

breathe in

breathe out

things are come together.

i'll be up and running as of next week werking here and there and here again i'm sure, or maybe it was there again. that's what the agenda book is for!

werk was the most stressful, but other things have come together too: living with my soeur again has been great and promises to be just a great. my prince gets more princely everyday, and i fall more into that four-letter-werd with every heartbeat.

breathe in

breathe out

...and on that note. enjoy this robyn. with every heartbeat. different meaning than my heartbeat (i'm not dying with every step i take) but i love robyn anyway. and now, so you do.

yes. you. do.

hic extraneus sum

cachorro :: bear cub

esta noche he vista la película cachorro con mi príncipe después de un día muy bueno. la peli es del género gay, pero no se trata del guión típo [dicho esteriotípico] del dicho género. me ha gustado mucho. el protagonisto es hombre gay cuyo sobrino llega vivir con él. se sigue una historia de familia, de amor, de amigos, y de comprensión. os sugiero verla en seguida. en inglés se llama bear cub y supongo que se puede encontrar donde se alquila películas, o en le sección de películas extranjeras o gays.

aquí tenéis el avance/tráiler



hic extraneus sum

...and then he were hown

after months of werk in the south, i am back in my own home. my howm. it feels good to sleep in my own bed, to sit on my own couches, to cook in my own kitchen. it feels good to decorate with my pictures; my family and my friends. it's nice to not have to worry about other people being happy and content. alone i live not, for my sister lives with me. i should write that i've been setting the hown with her as well, lest you start to think that i'm décor crazy sans consideration for her.

prince comes tomorrow for the weekend. it's always nice to have him here; in his arms and hands and eyes. yup, sappy. interesting, i'll be seeing dinosaur one last time before i get prince. dino is moving and one last how-are-you and let's-keep-in-touch meeting will satisfy all party's sociocast need to be civil and civilised and proper. really, though, what is proper in that situation?

i've been gallivanting around the city with an suv (don't hate, it wasn't mine) and acquired a few new purchases: shelves, desks (really cool desk with sawhorses and a slab - très industrial chic), tables, vacuum and iron (don't laugh. these are prime accoutrement required for any hown), and of course my newest fun make-me-happy: my MAC. oh how i like to be cool. i mean kewl. no, i mean cool. it makes me happy. je suis le happy.

but now, it's way past the hour i had intended to get to sleep. in fewer than seven hours i need to be up and out the door to start my weekend.

the best to you, all of my avid readers. or something.

hic extraneus sum

fall.ing into a new season

only days away from september, and the start of yet another new chapter in my lewe. i can't hardly believe that four maande have gone by and that i've established myself as a professional interpreter here. it feels like just yesterday i finished my last class, that i crossed the stage and received my piece of paper, that i finally exhaled.

that's life i guess. and life is for the living.

i'm living mine, that's for sure.

not so much angst or anger these days; i'm baie happy with my maan, with my werk, and with my situation in lewe.

confucius had it right:
everything has its beauty, but not everyoen sees it

i try to see the world's beauty,
but those who know me
know that i wear glasses.
a new, stronger prescription though this summer.
same blueberrry frames. loves me 'em.

i didn't want this entree to tern into a rant or stream or conscience (still find it interesting that that's con-science, anyway) but that seems to be where this is heading.
i fear i should stop, lest i get on about nothings and noughts and end up boring you all
all of you...
who's there?

that's me finished. still a stranger, but a happy one.

hic extraneus felix sum

una altra setmana comença

dilluns.

em trobo a ca meva després d'una diada sencilla,

no obstant productiva.

aviat vaig cap a visitar una amiga meva

quedar-m'hi aquesta nit

veure una pel.lícula

i xarlar de tot i de res

penso molt al meu xicot

em fa falta molta falta

el veuré aquest finde

però encara hi penso

i vull ser amb ell

el treball va ser bon avui

he fet ho que faig

brasos, paraules, somrius

vaig veure que mon amic d'halifax

em va deixar un missate/commentari aquí

i m'agrada molt que l'hagués fet

molt aviat ens coneixerem

per fi

aviat vaig cap a ma ciutat

per celebrar el meu pride

amb el meu novi

i amb amics/gues

així és la vida

ma meva quotidiana

us agradra?

us agrado?

hic extraneus sum

a day to myself

i like the days when i get to do nothing, and not feel guilty about it.

my day started off waking up at the wife's (those who know me, know what i mean; those who don't know me, well don't worry about it) after inviting myself over for a movie-junkfood-sleep-over night. it's great to have friends to catch up with and a place to escape from the parents.

we rented 2012. a lot happens in that movie, but more just to have it happen. a good deal of special f/x, yes, but a somewhat weak story overall, i.m.h.o. regardless, it filled almost two hours. oh, and during those two hours, a thunderstorm came through and put a tree in wife's front yard. okay, so really a big branch, but still new to the landscaping features.

back to my day, this day. woke up and got ready to leave. early. wife had to be somewhere at 7.30, which meant we had to leave at 7.15. notice that i didn't have to be anywhere, but i got up and left at said, early hour. i'm that nice.

maman and i went for breakfast (a day earlier than our weekly/bi-weekly routine) and did a bit of shopping. (i'll try to make this less step-by-step of my day...)

as this entry's title reads, this day was a day to myself. when i got home, i did nought stressful. i lounged by the pool as i cleaned and vacuumed it (i like the word vacuum - two uu's. continuum has it too. others?.... back to my point...)
i had a bite to eat, then lounged some more.

napped (or let's just say i did)

this evening i decided to go to the movies by myself. i don't find it weird. i got in the habit of going alone when i lived abroad and had to find ways to keep busy. i saw prince of persia and very very much enjoyed it. not just because jake is in it.... but yes, nice, mmm... interesting-enough storyline (for having been based on a video game) and nice f/x and intrigue. i'd recommend it.

now home, typing. tomorrow i'll sleep in a bit more than i did today. maybe till 8.00.

that's my life today. a day to myself
aren't you glad you read it?

hic extraneus sum

La Vie la vie

it's always interesting where life will take us. i've finished my programme, and am now a real languagemandomythingman. i've relocated for the summer to w.town, crashing with family and friends (free!) while keepin my place in hogtown (not free¡)

i'm happy with all the goodness therein included (read boyfriend) and therefore am pretty much out of angst. as such, my posts here have become rare.......non-existant.

i wanted to write though, just in case a certain haligonian is reading this (for he found it) and i thought i'd give a shout out to alba nuadh.

that's all really. stay well and enjoy life.

hic extraneus sum

...and then what?

in the past few months i have done a lot:

i have met a very special guy and couldn't be happier. i smile just thinking about him, and am smiling now as i type.

i finished my training and studies and am now an interpreter - look out world! work will come soon, i hope, as my loan collectors undoubtedly will.

i have learnt a lot about myself, what i want from life and what i do not want.

i have worked out and enjoyed life.

i have decided that this next chapter in the life of this blogger will be a good one. however, i have yet to decide if i will continue to write here... my angst is low at this moment and it seems that it was my angst that fueled my writing. we will have to wait and see what comes next.

hic extraneus sum

waltzing on air

i can't hardly believe it
smiling sans control
happiness rushing
finally it's happening to me
??

érase una vez...

... y la historia sigue escribiéndose


hic extraneus sum

on the edge of my seat and butterflies in my stomach

tomorrow
hours away
i'll head downtown
to meet the
visitor

i'm excited
nervous
anxious
and ready to burst

i'll smile some more
then go to bed
and wake up ready
still smiling.

hic extraneus sum

an hour lost

tonight we spring ahead
and lose an hour in the process
will i ever get that hour back?
yes, in the fall when we fall back

still smiling
i'm off to dream

hic extraneus sum

je souris

de retour chez moi après une semaine de stage, je souris. hier soir la semaine a culminé avec une soirée out .... je souris.

lundi - de bonne heure je me réveille près pour travailler, pour apprendre, pour détruire la vie de qqn même? un café m'attendait comme chaque matin. j'ai apporté avec moi des biscuits pour le bureau (j'en avais parlé la semaine d'avant) et on les a mangés toute la journée. ce lundi-là j'ai appris bien de choses, de ma profession, de moi-même... je souris

mardi - une journée :: une longue réunion. je n'ai qu'observé, pourtant j'ai egalement appris de quoi - et pu faire un peu de networking. une fois de retour au bureau, des p'tites notes m'attendaient, disant "où es-tu?" "tu nous manques" "tu es devenu un membre de notre bureau"... je souris

mercredi - quelle journée! j'ai déjà écrit de ma passion pour les langues, alors ce n'est guère une surprise qu'aujourd'hui m'a plu super bcp. trois interprètes travaillant ensemble, consécutivement entre trois (et des fois quatre) langues! ahhhhhhhhh. je souris

jeudi - encore jubilant du jour d'avant, ça ne m'a pas dérangé qu'il n'y avait pas grande chose à faire aujourd'hui... pendant la journée at least. la soirée - c-à-d hier soir, j'ai sorti .... je souris

je souris
je souris
je souris

vendredi - aujourd'hui je souris. j'ai de quoi à faire, et je vais le faire en souriant...


hic extraneus sum

a.maz.ing.s

frak.ing awe.some
i'm lov.ing the now
so mu.ch

away from ch.ez moi
on place.ment
learn.ing
liv.ing

i'm just so happ.y
and oth.er good thing.s
happen.ing too

smile.s
go.ing with it
let's be happ.y

high five.s
all around






hic extraneus sum

im gym

bin ins gym gegangen - grrr
habe trainiert - ahhhh
habe mehr als die norm getan - was?
we wusste? - ich?

woah


hic extraneus sum

semaine la première

voilà on se trouve, samedi
la semaine parachevée
ma tête m'a fait mal ces cinq jours-ci
mais d'une bonne façon

j'ai vu, vécu, entendu
bien de choses desquelles j'ai appris bcp
j'ai parlé, bougé mes mains
et même pu fuck-you-é

demaine j'y retourne et j'en ai hâte
je ne sais pas exactement ce qui m'attend
mais une chose dont je suis certain
ma tête va me faire mal de nouveau

bring it on

hic extraneus sum

hit the floor running

i'm away this month
to hone my skills and develop my abilities
didn't think i'd have much access to the ol' internet
but i do - albeit limited

my first day here was quick-paced
hitting the floor running
luckily i ran the 100m dash back in the 70s
and i was able to keep up

we'll see how my stamina keeps up over the month
and how early i go to bed for fatigue

stay well you all
stay well

hic extraneus sum

la última mitad

mañana es el último día antes de que me voy de practicum durante un mes. después, sólo tres semanas me separan de la final de este largo viaje. mitad y mitad y mitad, a lo largo de estos últimos años. y ahora el final está cerca, muy cerca...

casi no sé que hacer: alegrame o preocuparme

por un lado, realiso por fin mi sueño
por otro, ya tengo que encontrar trabajo

veremos
ya veremos

aquí soy estranjero

when wounds win

i have a friend
this friend is a bit of an odd guy. he's funny, but somewhat shy at first. vibrant but can be quiet. he takes his time to really get to know someone before he opens up to them. normal it would seem, but his hesitation to be himself has unfortunately impeded many good things for him in the past. things that could have made him very happy. my friend, you see.

i've seen my friend happy, but also sad. he usually smiles all the time. like all the time, both when happy and when sad. the happy smiles are bigger and brighter and make others smile. the sad smiles are empty though...like a mannequin in a store window. just a reflex to fit his sociocast role. my friend is "the friend" - his role you see. he is the one people talk to, the one people vent to, the one people to to to... and too rarely does he to to to them...

my friend has his wounds. they don't always show through from behind his smiles (happy and sad) which my friend likes. he prefers people not know he has wounds. the easy days are those when he is outgoing and has a day full of things to do, people to see and life to live... the hard days are those when the wounds win. the smile fails, epic really given its record of hiding things. these days my friend stays in the dark, in bed, for hours. he's told me you see.
after hours in bed, forced sleep and life-like dreams, he crawls out into his house and stumbles about. the wounds having won this battle.

but my friend is not ready to give up the fight
at least i hope

he re-analyzes the fight, his wounds, and why they hurt. he tells himself that they are only surface wounds are will heal quickly. this too shall pass.
my friend, though, apparently thinks that the deepest recesses of his heart and frayed heartstrings are on the surface.
poor friend, you will learn one day
i hope

i have a friend who has been hurt, whose wounds has since hurt him
and when wounds win his smile fades in and out
he's still funny and odd, but some days funnier than others.

high fives

hic extraneus sum

a week of werk

i'm typng with my eyes shut and my head heavy on my couch... drained of all energy from a week full of werk. assignments, presentations, appointments, interpreting, translating, langauges, reading, verbverbverb

not to mention meetings, minutes, reading, writing, volunteering, friendeeing, more meetings, ore readings, more more more

and there was the goodness and great thing of going to the gym. though busy and somewhat time consuming, i really love thegym. its a place to warm up, cool down, destress and centre myself
plus, a lot of cute mans with big arms...
biceps are god's way of saying
"this is what candy looks like"

funny story about the gym. i went the other day closer to "jock-head time" after the working day. had to wait to work into a few machines - no biggy. but my bike was taken and the folks therepeddling wer sooo not even into their cardio and were really just sitting there watching telelvision and taking up my precious cardio time. rude.
the changerooms and sauna were vey eyey. i normally don't care, and don't even notice the other guys (at least i'm aware to make such things obvious as it can put people ill at ease) but one guy might as well have climbed up into people's shower stall, on sat on them in the bastu or not even bothered (enter other verb here).

grrr. i'm to be buff - sexhungry people should stay home, or at least share their schedule so others can work around it and not be checked out for the entire duration of my shower. kthxbai as the 1337 say i believe

that's my week. oh, and a dinosaur brought me something from the tarpits. nice
nice? whatever, generosity is nice, so yes nice

not to quickly read over this entry so tiredly written with les eyes fermés.


hic extraneus sum and man alive! i'm tired.

crazy going slowly am i....

switch
so much to do in so little time
though i feels like there is nothing on my to-do list
i feel like i'm being pulled from both ends
from all ends

have to measure up
do well don't forget that
nor this
do everything but nothing

my head hurt
sides hurt
insides hurt

though i push onward
needing to finish what i've started.

hic extraneus sum

reaching up from the jurassic

some things should stay in the tarpits... out of sight and damn it out of mind.
some things should stay in the past... where they hurt but can't hurt anymore
some things should stay in the unknowing.... preferred to having been told

some things should die again and not flaunt their fossils in my world.
some things... my things... should be more controlled

some things should be the stanger here
not i

sed hic extraneus sum

boy

with a coin.
iron and wine



usually any boy with do, but these guys make it work.
and the flamenco brings me back to my days in spain
this makes me the happy

hic extraneus sum

saint-valentin

aujourd'hui je célèbre être célibataire
je le célèbre seul.

joyeux saint-valentin.

bienvenue à mon monde.

hic celibatario sum

excited by you

you don't know you're doing it
but you are
again

it's exciting, arousing, ...ing
though i know nought will come of it
again

you have a way with words
with hands with eyes with body
and it's just who you are

this too shall pass
again
but it's fun to feel something
at least

hic extraneus sum

ma vie de plus en plus occupée

je ne suis pas encore certain de si j'aime l'occupécité, mais elle est néanmoins là. someil, tu me manques...

il ne me reste que dix semaines d'assurance de cacher derrière le status d'étudiant. je serai très bientôt interprète. déjà trois ans, comme le temps vole !

sous peu j'aurai besoin de garder et gérer un horaire des rendez-vous, des sessions de travail et du temps "administratif" pour ne pas me perdre dans le paperwork... câlin mais ça va me faire chier ! hélas, c'est bel et bien ce que je veux...

j'arrive !

hic extraneus sum

breathe

thought i died today
but i didn't

life goes on

hic extraneus
sum

a good end to a bad start

woke up late. ran around. waite for the streetcar
boo town

got a coffee. it was good. worked.
good thing i like language
...and the cute venezuelan, sí me gusta.

the mormorning sucked
but then the notsomorning was better
then i left

had a meeting
gave out thousands and
thousands and
thousands of dollars
i'm that nice

went to holly's and chilled
watched her sic her minpin
on an unsuspecting guest
funniness ensued

went to a thing
had fun at said thing
and then came home

all of this feeling good about the fact that dinosaurs are no more
just bones underground, almost forgotten
soon to be
smile ahhhhh

i may be a stranger here, but one with closure at least

vibroutgoinant

met up with dinosaur today
for lunch

because i like to do this to myself that's why

we've been friends/friendly since i [read not i]
was ready [read not ready]
to paint pictures [read date]

whatever

dinosaur is leaving soon, as previous entries read
and i wanted to balls up and ask the wtf questions
i had been feeling rather amazing [read undatable]
since the yuletide

after vague commentary and "you're so nice" (dur, i know)
these character flaws came to light:

not vibrant enough
not outgoing

quoi le fuck?

me, of all people
i am not these things?
thanks for getting to know me over the course
of me falling for you
anyone
anyone out there care to chime in?
am i either of these things?
really?

dinosaurs went extinct a long long time ago
for a reason
time to re-extinctify this one

reason is that
over am i

[and not sober as i type. bonus. thanks baker]


glad it's a monday... means four more days of happy....

hic vibrans sum

un día mejor

ayer me quedé en cama hasta el mediodia... que me faltaba sueño... cuando por fin me desperté, decidí ir al gimnasio, grrr, pero no hubo toallas... necesito una toalla. entonces, me fui.

caminé por las calles un rato -- sentía un poco culpable por no haber ido al gimnasio -- pues fui al neuvo piso de tjaad y le ajudé pintar las paredes (colores muy ricas)

después, anoche salí con un nuev'amigo que conocí a una cena hace un par de días. (ya escribí de ésta en que mencioncé el dinosaurio). pasé un buen tiempo con él, y me estoy diciendo que era sólo un buen tiempo y que no tengo que pensar demasiado en ello..... buenos tiempos...

el dino sigue en mi mente, pero no está en mi ciudad, pues siento [un poco] mejor. ya siento que el día hoy será mejor que los que me frakaron recientmente
hic estraneus sum

moment of wtf

a friend tol.d me some fucking crazy sh.it tonight and i don't even know how to really handle it
they're okay about it [read numb to it all] and didn't know what to say. no word.s
that's what i said. " i don't k.now what to say."

how do. you move for.ward when you know th.ere's a chance your friend will not be there
that they'.ve been going through pain, terror, dareisay abuse.
fuc.k

i don't e.ven know what to write he.re
just tell me it'll a.ll be okay
and that li.fe has a way of making thing.s right in the en.d

hic extraneus sum

so pas cool

ce soir ch'allé à un repas bon-voyage d'un ami/dinosaur qui s'en va d'ici pour là. j'ai déjà écrit d
lui, mais ce soir j'ai troooop à écrire, pourtant chu xtrèmement fâché contre lui q jveux l'frapper dans l'face!

so, plus q'une personne m'a dit que mon dinosaur a "fait le tour" de la table... et là je'm pensais spécial. apparament j'n'était henq'un autre nom pour sa liste.... (oui, jsais que ce q'on me disait n'est que les mots de qqs personnes que j'n'connais pas, mais chu fâché de toutes façons...)

eeeet, un des amis de dinosaur m'a conduit chez moi - yaay - et qnd j'lui ai dit que j'ai sorti avec dino, il m'a dit qu'il n'en savait rien. RIEN! et bon, alors ce dino qui m'a fait resentir tant de choses, n'a rien resenti de moi. j'n'ai eu ni le moindre impacte sur lui - so much qu'il n'a rien dit à ses amis de moi. chu pas égocentrique, sinon jpense/pensais/pense encore q yavait qqch entre nous deux..... FUCK!


respire.....

et maintenant l'ami m'a demandé de sortir avec lui ce wknd.
mais chu trjs hung up sur dino. quoi faire.
je hais qnd la vie me fuck.
fuck.

hic extraneus sum

good times with the family

it's always refreshing to spend [just enough] time with your family to remind you of how much you enjoy their company - as siblings, parents, and as friends.

even the car ride down with sister was great times. she's soon moving in with me (scary but fun). hours of sitting next to each other, with bag-fulls of face-stuffing sweets, sours, crunchies, crisps and the like, and music backdropping the passing cars made for a mobile dance party and vent session. she's one of the best sounding boards (and users of me-as-a-sounding-board); we can and do talk about almost everything (nothing pants-y though, that's TMI) :: and the trip back was just as fun. a great way to bookend the weekend.

the "books" of the weekend were good too: visiting with the rents, and staying at theirs all three days. normally i walk in the door and turn around again to call on old friends. but this time it was all us, all the time. and well worth it! plus i got to make tastastic foods for meals.

i am love cook.

other sister's had a birthday, as did her third, so it was a trip of happies. good to spend time with allll of them (big family has she).

even fit in a trip to the gym there with the brothinlaw. grrr buff.

now back chez moi. enjoying my "weekend" of monday. sleeping in. mmm.
but work awaits me to get done today. away i go
i go

hic extraneus sum

gone for a few days

i'll try to post
i'll try. more of the same though

woe is me
woe is i

frak

hic extraneus sum

tu t'en vas

de bonnes nouvelles pour toi/
une désastre pour moi/
déjà suis-je fou de toi/
quoique tu ne le saches pas/
j'espère que si, tu le sais/

comment te dire tu me manqueras/
que tu me manques déjà/

pourtant je crains/
qu'il existe un autre coeur/
un autre corps/
qui t'attend/

comment te dire/
que je suis amoureux/

hic extraneus sum/

a stranger

looks at me
into me
and i'm locked
in their eyes

a stranger

holds my heart
my mind
and i reach out
for theirs

a stranger

knows my name
and beckons i come
but then turns away
and leaves

a stranger

calls me and asks
how i am i go i've been
i smile in habit
but remember that they're

a stranger

whom i know
i worry i love
hand in hand
a well-known stranger

you are a stranger here

à frente

no outro dia me pediu de fazer um trabalho linguístico.
tinha dúvidas, mas agora penso que sim posso.

é um sentimento grande quando percebemos que podemos fazer alguma coisa.

embora à primeira vista parece algo assustador e avassalador,
eu percebi que estou mais apto do que eu pensava


sei que não sou perfeito,
mas também sei que nunca vou ser.

e aceito

still wundring

if you're just biding your time
and whether you'll realise
that i'm the catch

hic extraneus sum

happy birthday monk

i've never called him that, but that's what his husband calls him.
bonne aniversaire!

slept through my afore-planned workout this morning.
meh, i prefer sleep

did the class thing. o canada'ed for hours.
seriously.
it'll come in handy in the tocome

decided to do the gym.
love seeing the pipes (moreso of th'other guys, but mine are coming along)
and the sauna is great.
that isn't supposed to suggest i enjoy the sauna in inappropriate ways. rather i like the steam and relaxation. no comments on bad sauna things. it ain't that kinda party.
and then walked a lot

thought the birthday party started at 6pm. crazy. i got home at 6:30. damn
called. nope, 9pm.
phew
frak. 3 hours to do what?
loves the interwebness

... (at the party)...

good party.
happy birthday

till tomorrow


hic extraneus sum

you took your shirt off

damn.



hicextraneussum

denkst du einmal an mir?

gehe ich durch die straßen
und denke an dir.
dein gesicht fällt mir.

ich lächle.

ich frage mich, ob du an mir denkst

einmal denkst

...wie ich an dir

lächlst du?

des réponses et des questions

j'ai passé une super journée aujourd'hui,
quoiqu'il y eut qqs hoquets ici et là.

je viens d'écrire tout un résumé de ma journée, mais voyons, je pense que vous ne voulez point savoir ce que je fais en tout moment, hein?

je suis sorti avec une amie ce soir. elle ma fait rire, sourire et réfléchir.
que ferai-je en qq mois? d'ici là je vais prendre un pas vers l'avenir.
je ne veux pas décevoir personne (famille.amis.autre)
mais si l'on me présente avec une opportunité wowtastique

que ferai-je?

j'aime bien quand je ris autant que j'ai ri ce soir.
ça me fait du bien
merci
pour les réponses à mes questions
et pour les questions à mes pensées

hic extraneus sum plus que jamais

quick tuesday recap

slept in. forgot i had made plans
made the plans just a little late. phew
dilemma about languagestuff. do i? do i not? tbc

rushed up to meet the sister.
met the sister. had pho.
mmmmmm pho.
sister came over. we hung out.
talked about future living possibilities

remembered i had homework.
worked on that.

forgot to blog.
blogged [read blogging]

went to bed.

hic extraneus sum.

things go hazy...

tjaad sent me this video. amazing.

i'm in lo.ve
with a son.g
w.ith you

i wa.tched you sl.eep in
quiet.ly in my b.ed
you d.on't kno.w this now
but the.res some things th.at
need to be s.aid
it's all t.hat i can hea.r
it's mo.re tha.n i can bare

w.hat if i fall an.d hurt mysel.f
would y.ou know h.ow to fi.x me
what if i w.ent and los.t myself
wou.ld you kn.ow where to f.ind me
if i f.orgot who i a.m
wou.ld you ple.a.se rem.ind me

oh cause with.out you thing.s go ha.zy

i want this song to be about himyou
but i'm terrified to say it aloud.
terrified you don't love me
that without thing will go hazy
and i'll be in the haze alone

i am a stanger here. a hazy stanger

naked jockstrap

if that didn't get your attention, you clearly don't read my blog.

today was a great day.
up with the sun and went to service with the roommies. didn't work, but i enjoyed it.
then i raced over to the theatre to meet some friends to see avatar and had popcorn

i liked it overall. some things were a bit off for me, either overdone, too cliché/cheesy, or lacking in some way. but others were simply amazing. the scenes were in fact breath-taking. the 3D technology did make good on media-presented promises. and ofc i loved the language and culture of the 'native population'. the story, i felt, had layers: one that showcased how we humans are horrible beings (feelings the same after watching district 9, though those were much more powerful); another that retold the story of pocahontas, ferngully, and the like; another layer was an interesting love story; an anthropological presentation; an overall good time.

after the movie i went walking, as i do. a good walk. along said walk i txted a few friends to find someone to walk with me - i wasn't ready to go home. it was only 4pm. ultimately i went for phở with the-guy-from-previous-posts-who-is/was...yup-him and chatted. good to see him again. noticed my hair cut (i got a hair cut, fyi). mmmmmmmmm :) i like to think of things that may/not come to be. whatevs.

then i walked some more and came home. now typing. done
sunday.
sundone.

hic extraneus sum

almost missed it

almost missed a saturday post, phew! i don't have too much to write, but i wanted to keep up with the one post per day.

had class this morning. saturday morning. i fear i've lost friday nights this semester. it'll be interesting though. the course is on discourse of sign language, in which we focus on frozen texts (things that we say/sign all the time - like prayers, speeches, anthems, usw.). the instructor is well versed in the subject matter, so i'm looking forward to it.

did the gym again today - full workout. grrr i'm buff (remember how i'm buff. yup, grrr) then met up with some friends in from outoftown and others from town. good times catching up and chatting.

other bonus: the friends in town have an amazings place - i've found where i want to live. and not just live for a while, but where i want to live. i'm almost a trigenarian and want to settle into the place that i'll call home. wow though. this place was nice, okay rent for when i'm working and earning a good living, in a great neighbourhood, close to the metro, and just so nice. i want to move in.

other than that, that's my post.


i'm strange and extraneus hic

...wat om te doen?

vandag het iemands my gevra op 'n date. ek weet dat dit is nie die grootste nuus, mar ek is nie seker nie wat om te doen/sê te hom...

en, in my wêreld neks is so maklik. hierdie persoon is 'n vriend van my draak (sien vorige blogpost). ja...

okay, laat my verduidelik 'n paar dinge. voor ek het draak ontmoet, hierdie nuwe mens en ek het e-geskryf en gefacebookgesels. so regtig het ek hom geken langer as draak...

mar, ek weet nie wat ek wil van die liefde deel von my lewe... woah.

liedfe - groot woord. blaah
ja, my unliefde lewe


ek weet nie...

hic extraneus sum

dinosaur

that's the shirt you were wearing on our second date. i loved the dinosaur. when i first saw the small thumbnail of the picture, i wondered whether it was that same shirt. now that i've seen the picture full size, i know i was right.

and you were just too cute for words/are too cute for words

(this entry will have to do though...)

i wonder if you remember these little things, the shirt i wore on our various dates

i wonder if you think it weird that i can remember each shirt you wore each time

i wonder if you think of me

it's a blog entry. sure.

it's where i keep my thoughts.

i write things. people [sometimes] read them.

i don't think you do.

all the same.

it's a great shirt.

now take it off.

hic extraneus sum