and so it is...

not wanting to ...
not wanting to ... me

yeah. again.
this ...ing game is
exactly what i don't
need right now

in the red again
pulling myself up
breathe

and so it is
my life
again

hic extraneus sum

iinterviiew

today ii had an iinterviiew wiith a fiinanciial group place. obviiously ii don't have any background iin fiinance, but they saiid that wasn't iimportant... or somethiing.

iit's not my number one choiice for work, to be honest, but as the old saw goes, "beggars can't be choosers". they iinviited me back for a second iinterviiew tomorrow.

that's all for now. try a comment or something. try it.

hic extraneus sum

[un]packed and [un]ready to go

my séjour at my 'rents is come to an end; in a matter of hours i will climb into the backseat of their new, why-didn't-we-have-this-when-i-lived-here vehicle to drive up to the big city. so ends the few days of my holidaze with family and old friends.

i wrote of the trip down... i think... on the train with my old gradeschool bff ? i'm too tired to halt writing this to look at past entries, but alls good. that was four days ago. tomorrow will mark five days at the old homestead.

my parents are the same as they were.

my sister and her family - crazy as ever. four children/five years.

my brother is, well, my brother. amaznoying as ever

my little sister is nice.

my hs bffs are doing well

two bought a house

one is expecting

i'm happy

my wife--check in with me for further detail--and her family are well

i played mario bros. on wii. frakin wii !!!

all in all, a good trip. but now as i watch the clock tick closer to my etd (if eta can work, why can't etd?) i'm left feeling a bit torn. part of me always wants to rush off back to my life (MY LIFE) away from this place. but another part of me misses is greatly and wonders how my life would be different had i never left, or if i were to move back here tomorrow.

there are many thoughts running through my head, as they oft do. in a mere matter of months i quite possibly could (have to?) move back here. what is there keeping me at my chez moi now? i do like where i live and the friends and really the family i've made there. here's hoping i have <3strings to keep me there too soon one day, but i daren`t rush that.

argh. i should sleep. nay, pack. nay, surf the interweb for a few more mind-numbing hours. i can sleep in the backseat on the way back to my place (MY PLACE).

hic extraneus sum. am i though?

un autre noël; sourires et soupires

voilà on est le jour après noël. on a donné et a reçu nos cadeaux. la famille nous a rendu visite, les cartes lues, le souper mangé - le tout fait.

c'est presque un cliché en l'écrivant, mais je ne peux croire que l'anné soit terminée. janvier 2010 nous approche en moins de cinq jours... et avant que l'on l'aparçoive ça sera noël de nouveau. câlin.

ce matin ma famille est assis dans le salon atour de l'arbre de noël tout allumé et décoré, et ceint de cadeaux (tous pour mes nièces et mes neveux bien entendu). ça fait déjà bien d'années que je leur ai dit à mes parents que je ne veux rien pour noël en tant que cadeaux vriament. néanmoins, on m'a donné qq pièces que j'aime bien (y inclus une nouvelle montre, merrrrci), et le moitié du frais d'inscription à une conférence pour l'année prochaine. whoo-hoo!

une chose que j'attendais depuis que je suis arrivé...est finalement arrivé. un txt. un txt de lui. il m'a pris toutes mes forces de ne lui pas écrire, car je ne voulais pas le pousser ou whtvr, mais qnd il m'a txté, j'ai souris d'une oreille à l'autre. je lui ai répondu, naturellement, et on a discusté un peu. cela fut hier. ce matin j'ai décidé de lui txté encore pour lui souhaiter un joyeux noël -- comme je fais avec tous mes amis -- mais je voulais lui en envoyer un en particulier. :)

je hais l'internet et ses sites interactifs, pourtant. c'est là ou on peut voir les commentaires et les photos de certaines personnes avec d'autres personnes... but whtvr, cela ne me dérange pas (ou bien ne devrait pas me déranger...)

les cris de mes nièces et mes neveux sont partis, et là j'écris cette entrée avec lui à l'esprit. je vais lancer un coup d'œil à son photo avant de quitter l'ordi, mais je vous laisse avec ces qq mots-ci.

joyeux fêtes à vous tous

hic extraneus sum

holidaze

with a whole four...was it five hours of sleep last night i awoke to my alarm at 6 a.m., jumped in the shower, and threw back my yumtastic chocowheyprotein shake. the start to the holidaze. i was actually smart enow this year to pack the night before leaving the city, instead of frantically throwing random items of clothing from my dresser and closet into the [wrong] suitcase and run with it half unzipped down the stairs, as in years past. no, i was smart. packed and ready to go...ish.

it was cold leaving hogtown, so bundled i was when the sister drove up with her man and i lifted my suitcase into the backseat. erm... or onto my lap apparently. sisterfriend had packed a narwhal in the giant bag that took up more than half the back seat. sure, i've been hitting the gym lately, but i didn't fit too comfortably into that half-left-over-seat...in my winter jacket avec suitcase and backpack (napsack soo).

alls good - what's 20 mins in that state on our way down to union station.

last year in line a bad memory from highschool feigned remembering me and line jumped...with his bag of shellfish and meat from the market. seriously. this year my sister warned that she'd punch a brother if such a bad memory came to pass again. so, when i heard my name called out this morning as we queued up, i half shield my faceface from my sister's blow. but, phew! it was my old gradeschool best friend. small world. made for a good trainride to the ends of the earth (or at least to the south of canada)

4 hours later, and a few of them slept...ah sweet slumber...we meet my mother to drive home. the parking lot is a zoo, as per uzh, so she texts me "i can't get in. come meet me on the other side of the tracks". i'm like okay. my sister, though runs off in a craze. turns out, her text read "i'm on the tracks". a little different, no? ha!

driving through my small town, we come up on the torch. as in The Torch. th'olympic torch relay running along the road/shore/boarder of the country. i had seen it in toronto, but still history and all that, so ooh and ah and lookatthatness.

finally at my 'rents, i throw down my suitcase and backpack and breathe in the air from my highschool days in my old room [read guestroom now for people like me. guests]. four more days of this. great.

in amazingness news, i got a picturebook from my friends' wedding (i stood) and love it. aaaand, one of the fab 4 hs bffs is expecting! this is this blogger haphaphappy :)

technically it's now dec 24. xmas eve. the solstice/yule are past and the new year has begun.
that good things come to us, you and me - especially in the next four days whilst here.

hic extraneus sum

se'n recorda de quan es llegia aquest blog?

jo tampoc.


merci. em sento molt volgut... molt.


hic extraneus sum

alonement

a.lone.ment /əˈloʊnmənt/
-noun

1. feeling of solitude
2. not having anyone or anything to connect with
3. knowing at a precise moment that everything will end singularly
4. the way i feel right now. surrounded by masses, feeling utterly alone.

hic solitarium sum

i make me laugh

no wopen
(what i read)


now open
(what it really read)

i laughed for a good while to myself as i walked up not-ould street. seriously, i can keep myself entertained for hours.
i don't bring books or music or games on bus rides or trains. i just think to myself and laugh.

who reads no wopen. what's a wopen anyway and why would it be banned?

hic extraneus sum

immer noch nicht sicher...

fast ein monat. nicht unglaublich, aber ich bin immer noch nicht sicher,

was ich fühlen soll.

wir haben geredet und es ist jetzt klar, dass wir „sehen einander“. 'r hat kürzlich eine beziehung geendet,

und weiß ich, dass er vielleicht nicht bereit andere direkt ist.



hic extraneus sum

defrakincember

november's is come and gone. another year older. autumn outgoing and winter incoming.
whaaat?! when did this happen? all of a sudden december decided to sneak attack us and blitz us from behind (and not in the good way).

e.ver.y year i say "december already?!" in disbelief. seriously, e.ver.y year. as if i'm not expecting the only 'd' month to come. what would really surprise me would be if it just didn't come one year.

october
november
january
b'wha?

some good things about december i guess:
end of the semester - only weeks away from panicked excitement
holiday/winter break - three weeks of sloth and gluttony... i mean rest and relaxation
xmas/chanuka/etc - gift giving and making people smile.

...and hopefully more time with happy.

december. you bring winter at your tail-end. but you also bring other good things i guess. i'll take that frak out of you, defrakincember. you can be my december (just bring cocoa and popcorn)

hic decemberaneus sum

edge of the pan...

"out of the frying pan, and into the fire"

i am hours away from finishing my next-to-last week of my next-to-last semester of my [next-to-last?] post-grad programme... these past few years have been amazing, awful, awesome and frypanish. but, i can't - no don't want to - imagine what will happen after i finish all of this business and i give up the comfortable label "student"...

interpreter = a.k.a the fire

this should be fun.

i've been happy though, of late. great times with smiles and handholding and just i like the happyhap.

that made no sense, but whatevers. i'm posting this with big smiles. sort of forgot what i was wryting about.

oh yeah - frypan. fire.

i'm scurred.

hic extraneus sum

déu n'hi do!

fa anys, es a dir tota la meva vida, que vaig essent solter. podia comptar les cites que vaig tingut amb una mà... pero fa uns messos algo passa. surto amb nois de tant it tant. i sento que els agrado. m'explico. fa dues setmenes i poc que vaig sortir amb un noi super maco i simpàtic. la cita va ser diver i interessant. uns dies despres l'he invitat a menjar a ca meva i a veure una pel.licula. res de motius ulteriors... i passaren uns dies. el dia abans mi aniversari, hem sortit encara a un restaurant.

ara tenim plans per aquet cap de setmana i en tinc ganes. vull veure'l i quedar-me amb ell. és intel.ligent, maco, simpa, i una bona persona - o bé ho crec.


...pero aquí hi ha el problema meu. un altre noi m'ha demanat de sortir amb ell. i havia altres també que m'han escrit. hi ha una expressió anglesa que es diu "quan es plou, s'inunda". un noi em demana, i es fa una cola derrera d'ell?! déu n'hi do... i tant!

ara no sé exactement què fer. m'agrado molt el primer noi, pero només hem sortit tres vegades junts. hauria de sentir mal per haure sortit amb altres? ... no sé

què haig de fer? ajuda'm, sisplau.

sortint amb nois no és fàcil!

hic extraneus sum